The news from Africa is not good. One would have thought that with the election of Barack Obama Africa would be jubilant, ecstatic, elated and hopeful. Oops, remember that word, hope? I guess I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

Well, here it is folks. Just off the coast of Obama’s fabled homeland, Kenya, a giant Saudi oil tanker was literally seized by a group of pirates. Yes, pirates. We’re not talking about Popeye or some fucking movie with Johnny Depp. We’re talking about assholes who ride around the ocean looking for something to steal. Well now it seems they have really outdone themselves. They have become emboldened and have seized a whole goddam supertanker full of oil that is worth around $100 million just for the oil alone, which I suppose the pirates wanted in the first place. If it was an empty supertanker then who would give a fuck. But this ship was carrying the equivalent of one-fourth of total daily Saudi oil production. That would be like me and my girlfriends trying rustle a million head of cattle. I know I tend to get a little pissed off every now and again, but I never went off the edge and made a damn fool of myself like these motherfuckers. You see, it’s niggers like these that give the rest of us black folks a bad name.

Look, all you dumb ass niggers. Stop fucking yourselves in the ass. Stop hijacking ships who are the allies of the people who just elected one of your people as president. Duh! Hellooooo! Anybody home?!

This is the kind of shit that just drives me crazy. I’m supposed to keep my cool and relax and not get upset about this shit, but frankly those were the good old days when nobody had to give a fuck about Africa. All we had before Obama was some fucking Tarzan movies. Now it’s all about law and order and speaking right and watching what you say and worrying about whether the mainstream media likes your sorry ass. Since when did black people suddenly have to start acting like dumb white people? I thought this whole thing was supposed to be about change. Now, suddenly I have to care about Africa like the white folks go on and on about their Irish heritage, and their German ancestry, their Norwegian vodka consumption, and the Holy Land, the promised land, the homeland, and the heartland. Now it’s all mainstream this and generic that. Advertisements are in abundance about how men can make their dicks get hard. This is amazing shit that I am told I have to believe is going to make me a happier person, when I don’t have the ability to even say that if I had a man who needed Viagra I’d be ashamed to be with him.

Africa is no paradise. Even the goddam animals are killing one another. I wonder who gave them the impression to go and do that. White folks go on these damn safaris like they’re fucking Robert Redford or Lawrence of Arabia. They come back to America all wide-eyed and expressionless like they’ve been to some other planet or something. I tell them, look don’t pull that shit with me because I don’t even like going to the zoo. If animals don’t behave themselves then I’m going to have to kick their ass or else they are going to wind up being road kill. I don’t give a shit. Fuck animals. If they don’t behave then fuck them. I don’t care what happens to them.

And as everyone ought to know by now, platinum is more valuable than gold or silver. And yet Zimbabwe is sitting on top of the world’s second largest reserves of platinum. This country rakes in an estimated $140 million a year from platinum alone and the entire country only has a population of around 13 million. The country’s per capita GDP is around $3 billion, and yet the country has one of the worst inflation rates of any country on earth rising from an already staggering 32% in 1998 to now around 150,000%. The country has actually had the unmitigated gall to print up a bunch of basically worthless $100 billion notes. And it was all thanks to the Robert Mugabe’s compulsory land redistribution program that essentially takes land away from white landowners and hands it over to black landowners. This a is quintessential dumbass nigger story of magnanimous proportions. This is the typical kind of fucking oneself that blacks seem to love to do. This is the kind of stupidity that American blacks are now being told to respect and honor just because it’s African. Fuck that. I’m not buying it. I think Mugabe is a racist prick and a loser. The infant mortality rate in Zimbabwe has climbed to 81 deaths per 1,000 live births and there are an estimated 1.8 million Zimbabweans living with HIV. That’s over 13% of the whole country that has AIDS!

It would all be easy for me to just say fuck Africa. I don’t give a fuck about it because the whole place is about as worthless as you can get. Except for the Sahara desert in the north where nothing can thankfully survive and as a result things are relatively peaceful, the rest of the continent is rife with corruption, deceit, war, thuggery, disease and stupidity. At least the white man tried to do Africans some good, and the biggest lie ever told is that white folks sent boats over to Africa to steal black people and take them to America. Actually, it was the Africans own people who sold them into slavery, and as shocking as this may be even today Africans are still enslaving Pygmies in the Congo. They call themselves the Democratic Republic of Congo, but right now there are around 300,000 Pygmies that are slaves to their Bantu owners. Yes, they still have slavery in Africa, and one would think that the American blacks who rant and rave about slavery here ought to go clean up their own backyard first, that is, if blacks really did care about Africa.

So, I’m not buying any of this African Queen fantasy. I’m no queen, I’m just an average American whose image has unfortunately been shaped by the media which stereotypes me as some kind of radical Afro-centric militant bitch. Let me tell you something, I’m as black as they come baby, but I don’t give a fuck about Africa. In fact, if the whole goddam continent cracked off and sunk in the damn ocean I wouldn’t shed a tear. Africa is an embarrassment to me. One need look no further than how the media in America has somehow kissed the great African butt cheek of political correctness by referring to blacks as “African-American”. I say fuck that shit. I’m a nigger goddammit, and if the CNN truck ever pulls up to my house they better refer to me as the Next Nigga In Charge at The Daily Nigger. If they even try to call me an African-American I will correct them on the spot.

I just want to stick my big black nigger ass all up in the media’s face and tell them what a bunch of fools and suckers they are for buying into this African bullshit. They can take that mulatto guy they like so much along with the Clinton administration he has rented with all of his illicit campaign cash that the Federal Election Commission will never audit and go have a good time on the television telling lies all day long. I don’t care. I won’t listen to that garbage, because I know what Africans are really like. Don’t get me wrong, some of them are good but the majority of them should be ashamed of themselves for even being associated with the kind of uncivilized behavior that goes on there. It’s 2008 for God’s sakes; isn’t there anybody over there who has a clue yet?

Yes, Obama is smart, and Obama is savvy, and Obama is this and Obama is that. All day long I have to hear about Obama, like he is going to wave a big magic wand and make it all better. I say send that boy back to Kenya and tell his people over there to get a clue and stop making trouble for America. He ought to be telling them to behave and crack down on the pirates, because nabbing a whole damn supertanker full of Saudi oil is not cool at all. But of course, if I flip myself around and imagine that I was living in an African country, and the president of the country was half white American then I wouldn’t expect him to be upset if, say, Americans didn’t set a better example.

It’s not about white or black either, but rather it is the memory of colonialism that drives blacks crazy. Blacks know that whites brought a lot of improvement in the standard of living to Africa, but it was at a heavy price. Africa would not develop on its own and needed outsiders to help do it. The problem with Africa is that America is the country they seem to hate as much as they love. The colonial days still haunt them, but this phenomenon has to run its course. Africa simply cannot stay closed off to the Western lifestyle and be respected in the world. Like I said, I don’t care if people use the word nigger. That word doesn’t offend me nearly as much as the free pass others give to black people just because some others have over-simplified and glamorized the black victimization mentality. Yes, the victim mentality is alive and well, and it isn’t about race because the problem lies mainly with blacks themselves. Whether you are white, black or both, the fact is that the black issue is real and it won’t go away until people open their eyes and face the ugly truth.

-TDN

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 at 10:36 and is filed under Free Speech. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.