Dear Daily Nigger Readers:

This is to inform you that Google has banned The Daily Nigger from all of its advertising. According to Julie at Google AdSense, “ad serving to http://www.thedailynigger.com was disabled because although
you may not have intended for it to be so, users and advertisers may find the domain name offensive.”

Hmmm, “may find” being the key phrase. In other words, dearest little Julie has determined that in order to keep her job at Google, she has decided that it is in the best interest of everyone concerned that in order to prevent an untoward embarrassment to the Internet behemoth it’s just better to pull the plug now rather than wait before the shit hits the fan and The Daily Nigger becomes way too popular and takes on a life of its own a la Mad Magazine, Screw, or Hustler. Oh well, some fuckers in Silicon Valley just don’t understand how popular tastes drive bottom line profit margins.

It is utterly and completely fucking amazing how the Internet has become the main portal to a world of sanitized, homogenized, and deniggerfied boiled down bullshit day after day. We could go on and on about this particular phenomenon but frankly we’ve worn out our welcome on this topic to the point at which if we kept on banging the mainstream media drum we’d be accused of mental masturbation and thereby go blind and incapable of writing anything legible if it weren’t in braille.

Frankly, the editorial board of The Daily Nigger has already met in our headquarters in the Mississippi Delta and decided that Google can basically take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut and skit skedaddle and ski doo.

Listen, y’all. Lemme tell you something. I gave my left nut to Google. I’ve been working for those massas in Silicon Valley long enough. I’ve given them everything but my left nut. They took my whole life away. They took away my ex, they took away my money, my house and my goddam pride. All of it was for nothing more than their politically correct bottom line so that they can all feel good about themselves as they rake in their PC dough and go back to their SOMA lofts and be lonely and sip sake and eat sushi and act cool. We don’t give a fuck at The Daily Nigger. Just give us some hog jowls, pickled pigs feet and collard greens and we’ll be as happy as a pig in shit.

We’re not politically correct in case you didn’t get the memo. We use the word nigger endearingly because we are all either black or are white and had black mammies. We know what it is to be loved by traditional black people and not these knock off new age versions with their earrings and pants hanging off their ass cracks. We’re the real deal here, and we make no bones about it. Fuck you if you don’t get it. We do, and so do about a hundred thousand or so other niggers just like us.

There is a profound latent longing in the lost tradition of true black love. Everybody wants it but nobody seems to have the balls to step up and ask for it. I want to cuddle to some big black breasts just like I did when I was an infant and lavish my big lips all over them and get into some long Barry White melodies and think about nothing but black love all night long. I don’t care about all these Barney Fife sheriffs running around trying to make me behave and act like I’m the new black-lite. I’m proud to be a nigger, and I’m loving every minute of every single sexy day where I can’t get enough of your love, baby.

Fuck these sexually pent up, frustrated, guilty white folks in Silicon Valley. I bet they wouldn’t know pickled pigs feet from a crocheted Valentine’s pantie gift given by their grandmother when they were a teenager. Yes, people grow and mature like the times do as well, but sensuality is something unusually akin to some people who don’t sell out and remain as human as a teenager on a hot summer day in a small town in America wearing a tank top with one leg propped up on the side of a grain elevator drinking a Coca-Cola out of the bottle.

All of you know what I’m talking about, so don’t try to deny it. American sensuality is something that is indisputably subtle and forceful at the same time. Without even so much as a word being spoken, books of images are written in the mind. Political correctness is for the urban types who are trying to fit in order to find something that doesn’t exist. We at The Daily Nigger are resolved instead in keeping alive the realness of life beyond the bullshit and the pretentious.

I’m an old negro who didn’t even know from Google back when I was a child. Even when I was growing up I didn’t even know about the Internet. But I do tend to catch on rather smartly, and here I am writing about a time gone by. All these new black people talk about how bad the word nigger is, and they’ve gotten all their white guilty friends worried sick about it to the point at which even the shareholders of Google are scared shitless if somebody says the word. But we don’t care. We love the word because we worship our inner nigger. We love it, we nurture it and we embrace it. We don’t try to dissuade people from thinking about it or using it in the wrong sense. The way we use the word is in the most endearing way possible.

Trust us on this one Daily Nigger readers, we have no malice in our heart. We love everybody as long as they return the love. We just don’t like censorship and politically correct sanitizing of thoughts, words and ultimately actions. We’re not trying to tell people how to behave in order to satisfy someone’s point of view whom we do not even know. We say what we feel because we feel what we say. And we feel what we say because we live what we feel. Our emotions are not based upon what somebody else told us. We actually grew up and experienced our blackness in the first person singular. Our experiences are our own and not from someone else who doesn’t know what the heck we’re talking about.

How many people know what it’s like to hear the sound of a summer rain downpour on a rusted hot tin roof of a warehouse on an August afternoon in the middle of nowhere? How many people know the delight in one’s heart that is felt when Friday comes and a paltry paycheck in the hands of parishioners at the local church goes a long way toward producing the sound of brotherhood and love among all in the church down in the black part of town? I’ll bet that while the white folks were cheering at the high school football game, they had no idea of the soulful sounds emanating from the walls of this temple of soul located near the railroad tracks where you could smell the cottonseed oil and creosote from the factory just across town swirling together with the smell of rotten eggs from the local paper mill.

Oh yeah, Google, you go girl. You tell us niggers how to behave and what to think and how to act and how to feel black. You know it all because of your algorithms, your penchant for Italian sports cars and expensive urban dwellings and fancy finger food. Go ahead and live your life and sit in judgment of us all. Who cares? Who really knows us better than we ourselves? It’s our little secret, you see. And no matter how much you want to marginalize us and criticize us it only goes to show how jealous you are of the depth of the history that we have with the land that you probably never had your little feet set upon like we have when we took our shoes off and stuck our feet in the mud and laughed out loud when the rain came pouring down on what was otherwise just another work day.

Yes, we’re just a bunch of RC Cola drinking, moon pie eating pickaninnies. We don’t know shit from shinola. We’re as dumb as a bunch of fucking fence posts, and we’re poor as a church mouse. But by God there is the Internet, and our little black fingers know how type. God bless America. It’s a brand new day.

-TDN

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at 10:41 and is filed under Free Speech. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.