W-SCREWED

Ladies and gentlemen, if you work for a living and get a paycheck chances are you are paying taxes for a system that practically everyone in the government believes will soon be broke. Now, what do you call this particular phenomenon?

Let me help out. It’s called my momma and my daddy still love me, but they just can’t afford to take care of me any more. And isn’t it time that we admit that we are grown up enough to take care of ourselves? Do we have to believe in the tooth fairy and Mickey Mouse and the Easter Bunny combined? Maybe the Easter Bunny is a keeper, but Mickey just ain’t cutting the mustard any more. And so, that rat has to go.

It is time for the government to simply say to everyone, we’ve had it with you people. You want to pay very little for things that cost way too much. You never get up off your butts and get out of those offices where you sit and get fat and wait for your checks and admit to yourselves that you’re basically miserable, and you know you’re paying for something that probably won’t even be there to pay you back. Now who’s the fool?

We have unfortunately been taught to be facile and lazy minded and shiftless and mindless and unaware even though we know damn good and well that if given the opportunity to be different we would. In fact if you really take a good look at the tax code of this country you will see that basically the government feels that if you are not self-employed you will not get the benefit of many tax deductions that the self-employed receive.

So honestly, the government is penalizing stupidity as it should. Which really drives home the point that our government is more interested in Darwinian winners than Believing losers.

So go rent a copy of Office Space, get yourself a baseball bat, go into the office tomorrow and instead of asking Patty Puffball how her weekend went at K-Mart just take a swing at her computer monitor and then look straight at her and say, I am sick and tired of paying taxes so that you can sit there on your fat ass. Your bladder control, yeast infected, Nyquil, Dayquil, Advil moments are not enough to make me sit here and have my brain drained every bleeding day for the sake of paying for things that don’t make me happy. And admit it, you’re sick because you are sitting there in the first place. People were not designed to be legless, sedentary creatures. We’re supposed to be using our brains and our bodies and earning a living doing things for ourselves. Learn a trade, a craft, even a profession and use your God-given talents to the fullest.

Leave behind all the advertising created in the world by the masters of the media, who also tell me who to vote for, how to eat, what to say, how to look, and how to think. Let it go. Breathe, stretch, learn, live and love. Say goodbye to that old W-2, who looked you square in the face every January 31st and said to you: Here’s what you made! (And here’s my cut, buddy.)